Sunday, December 21, 2008

fire walk with me



... I told him that BOB was getting very very close and that I was trying as hard as I could to write about him to find out what he was, who he was, before he could get to me. I had been writing so much about him in my diary in poems and dreams and each time I did it I would see him at my window or feel him coming closer, but I wasn't sure if it was paranoia. . . . I just wanted to be normal. I just want to be like everybody else. I don't like having to be careful of who to talk to because someone might hate me if they knew the truth about me, about how dirty I am. And how somehow, I don't remember it, but, somehow everyday I asked to be treated this way. It always happens, so it must be something I don't realize I say, or something I think. I told him how I went to my safety deposit box and how I saw the drug money there and I had a fantasy about taking it and running away forever. But I didn't deserve that. I deserved to stay here. I had done something wrong. My heart hurt so badly, but I knew I had to stay.
I took the responses from my ad in Fleshworld home with me and stayed up all night putting pictures of me and my panties into envelopes . . . and how I had to keep getting higher and higher on coke so I wouldn't break down and cry and I didn't want anyone to hear my cries because they didn't matter to them anyway. They never have.

Love, Laura



PAGE RIPPED OUT
(as found)



PAGE RIPPED OUT
(as found)



Dear Diary,Undated

I know who he is. I know exactly who and what BOB is, and I have to tell everyone. I have to tell someone and make them believe.
Someone has torn pages out of my diary, pages that help me realize maybe . . . pages with my poems, pages of writing, private pages.
I'm so afraid of death.
I'm so afraid that no one will believe me until after I have taken the seat that I fear has been saved for me in the darkness. Please don't hate me. I never meant to see the small hills and the fire. I never meant to see him or let him in.
Please, Diary, help me explain to everyone that I did not want what I have become. I did not want to have certain memories and realizations of him. I only did what any of us can do, in any situation. . . .
My very best.

Love, Laura

P.S. I'm giving you to Harold for safekeeping. I hope I see you again. I can't stay sober anymore. I just can't. I have to be numb.


THE PRECEDING WAS LAURA'S LAST
ENTRY. SHE WAS FOUND DEAD JUST
DAYS LATER.

1 4 2 or "You're delicious, dreaming slack jawed, green-eyed"

Great, exciting game!! Totally not what I expected against Buffalo! The mini-fight between BGL and Andrew Peters tonight sums up the game nicely:



Me likey! haha... I'll admit that I was a little skeptical about the Laraque signing last summer, but it sure is nice to have a bonafide enforcer on the team. And the fans at the Bell Center love it, especially since he's a hometown boy. Acually, I don't think anyone could call Georges Laraque "boy": he's all man.

Anyway, the game was a little closer than I would have liked - we had to come from behind 3 times - but i'll take an overtime win any day, baby! Next up, Carolina, and then no hockey until the 27 :(

If I can keep my Habs prediction streak going, and catch a few other teams' games, I'll do some Mise-au-Jeu and try to make a little money off of it! And if that goes well, I'll have to hit up the Casino over the holidays. Nothing I love more than some good company, a (few) stiff drink(s), a little icing sugar and a few hours of Keno! hahaha


I'm re-reading The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer that David Lynch's daughter Jennifer wrote. It's too bad that the few films that she directed were such utter disasters; I thought the diary was so promising. Maye she should stick to writing. I'm on a bit of a Twin Peaks bender at the moment. Sarah and I are gonna bake a cherry pie and have a Twin Peaks marathon during the holidays. I can't wait!! It is so crazy just how deeply affecting it is reading this again. I remember why it got to me so much the fist time round. So many parallels to be drawn between my teenage years and hers. Had I a few drinks in me, I would maybe even be tempted to post the lyrics to the song I wrote about her years ago. Luckily, that is not the case! haha

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Even though I was wrong about Kovalev breaking his slump last week, he did manage to score the game after. Tonight I have a feeling... I predict victory!!! Buffalo is going down - as long as we dictate the style of play and not adjust to an inferior team's style.

Still lots of injuries, AK46 being the latest to go down. He's only day-to-day tho. I hope Price is back in nets tonight or tomorrow against Carolina. Halak makes me nervous with all the rebounds. I'm also predicting a victory tomorrow night to avenge that piss-poor effort against Carolina last week.

Friday, December 19, 2008

tripping down memory lane

Noah, the almighty rave.ca admin seems to have put up all the old threads that were lost a few years ago when ravewave switched servers. I just spent the better part of the last 3 hours reading all 3500+ messages I posted on the forums since 2003. Some were funny, some were cringe-worthy and some were downright sad. My only solace is that at the time I was usually on ravewave all day while working at my dad's "tea shop", so all that crap I spewed was really just in the name of killing time. The weirdest thing was realizing that my writing style and sentence structure was far superior 5 years ago. And that's what I have to show for 4 years in English Lit?! HA!

Wrote my first and only final of the semester today; I think it went well. We shall see...

Tomorrow, before work, I'm booking my flight to Costa Rica on travelcuts.com. Roundtrip Montreal to Costa Rica with a layover in Alanta on the way home for 530$ incl. taxes and surcharges! INCROYABLE! haha ! My share for the house that Sharon rented for the month is gonna be 150$. So, basically, I get a 10-day vacation to Central America for under a grand - sweet deal. This will also be the first time I get to travel with friends; been around the world and back but always with family or by myself. The destination itself isn't anywhere I've been particularly itching to see, but 10 days with my girl friends down south in the heart of winter is gonna be sooooooo sweet!!

I've actually had a very good week. Things are looking up for now. If only I could get... nevermind... ;)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

This is not a test, it's difficulty
Picture closely, the ignorant mostly
Blind, deaf, dumb, your mind left numb
Lost soul who failed to hear the roll of the drum
In the bottom of your bomb shelter, still felt the
heavy blast that blew off the masks of twelve welders
The math of an elder, praise the Lord - thank you Genius
Operation: Project English
Commander-n-chief of flight style, check the aircraft
Glide like the frisbee, Digi look Disney
To check fault in oneself is pure loveliness
You break the mirror that remind you of your ugliness
So when I bust, no one is untouched
Some returning with the mic clutched, like such
who plan but never execute
He had the heat in his hand, but yo he didn't shoot
Therefore; your mechanism of material better be sickly
or let your lead spread incredibly quickly
I move bravely, travellin on a horse
on the battlefield, surrounded by the lost
of those who plotted with the brains of animals
My high molecular structure be untangible
The name ring a bell, killable two syllable
The Wu is comin through, the outcome is critical
To be blunt, the beef was cooked up like coke goods
The rhyme first came to me in the oak woods
Up to no good, rap icon
"Milk" the industry like the Wall Street junk bond
You see the bright stone, I got your height sewn
Direct current, that move through the mic-phone
Key contributor, well known major factor
Rhyme distributor, the drive of a tractor
who run ya down if you don't wanna move or wanna linger

The immortality of my fame is the measure of other's torture
Burnt offer, from a flamin author
The falconer who flies enough birds for the chase
Strictly excel in what is excellence with grace
The significance was not the vulgar applause of interest
but the feelin that exit, completion of a sentence
With age and experience, my reason ripens
I strike on you Vikings, slash like a hyphen
If you enter the house of fortune by the gate of pleasure
You will leave by sorrow, the flow measures
everything fails with the unfortunate
Learned that recordin it, so my mind broaden it
Track records, ranks us, with the exceptional
Extreme complex physics, high technical
The truth is usually seen and rarely heard
What's more dangerous than hatred, is the word
You wild cards, Jack of all trades
Those who parade their positions, show their Spades
A large flock of MC's, they figure to be taught
It ain't hard to see why I'm vigorously saught


GZA - Breaker, Breaker

Saturday, December 13, 2008

go habs go

Washington is visiting the Bell Center tonight. Koivu is out with an ankle injury, which flat out sucks. Apparently we used all our good luck in the injury department last season. Komisarek has been out since that horrible, horrible game against Boston what seems like an eternity ago. Dandenault fractured his arm a few days ago and Higgy's out indeterminally. The only good thing about the situation is the fact that it's still relatively early in the season.

Kovalev is wearing the "C" tonight since Koivu's out. He hasn't scored in something like 17 games. I'm calling it: at least 2 goals for Kovy tonight. ;)

how the end always is..

Still stuck in Cure land.

My obsession tends to ebb and flow. At the moment it's ebbing (or is it flowing?!)

No matter. It's such a comfort knowing that regardless of what's going on around me, I can pop in Disintegration or Wish or Pornography or Faith (or to a lesser degree any of the 9 others) and get lost in Robert's voice. While my raging physical attraction to him has waned over the years, his voice... oh, his voice...

I know every single Cure song ever recorded inside and out - I can play every bassline and every guitar hook, I can play entire albums in my head from start to finish. And yet, even after listening to certain songs for the thousandth time, they still evoke that special feeling that no other band has ever gotten close to providing for me. I think it's time to seriously consider my Cure tat, cause at this point I know that I'm hooked for life.

It is a damn shame that Robert slacks off in the lyrics department these days. I can understand that after 30 years of writing lyrics, maybe he's said all that he has to say. Despite that, the sheer lyrical brilliance of Robert Smith in his prime has and will never be matched. I defy anyone to prove me wrong.

I mean, take Disintegration: 7 mins of the most intensely devastating lyrics delivered with anger and yearning unlike any other vocalist can match... utter, complete brilliance...

dropping through sky
through the glass of your roof
through the roof of your mouth
through the mouth of your eye
through the eye of a needle
it's easier for me to get closer to heaven
than ever feel whole again...

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Cure on Leno any minute now!!

My love for the Cure must be boundless... I've sat through 12 mins of the Tonight Show so far, and the guest tonight is TOM CRUISE!! hahahaha.. I'm trying to picture Tom and Robert Smith rubbing elbows in the green room before the show. Also, the weird dynamic in the crowd between the Cruise and Cure fans!!

I've always been way more partial to Letterman, though these days Colbert and Stewart are all the latenight TV guys I need.

R.I.P Bettie Page. A true beauty, unlike what passes for it these days.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Got caught up on the edge of the deep green sea tonight. This song... so many memories. I remember when we used to whisper the lyrics to each other during those endless nights years ago...

Every time we do this
I fall for her
Wave after wave after wave
It's all for her
I know this can't be wrong i say
(and i'll lie to keep her happy)
As long as i know that you know
That today i belong
Right here with you
Right here with you...

And so we watch the sun come up
From the edge of the deep green sea
And she listens like her head's on fire
Like she wants to believe in me
So i try
Put your hands in the sky
Surrender
Remember
We'll be here forever
And we'll never say goodbye...

I've never been so
Colourfully-see-through-head before
I've never been so
Wonderfully-me-you-want-some-more
And all i want is to keep it like this
You and me alone
A secret kiss
And don't go home
Don't go away
Don't let this end
Please stay
Not just for today

Never never never never never let me go she says
Hold me like this for a hundred thousand million days
But suddenly she slows
And looks down at my breaking face
Why do you cry? what did i say?
But it's just rain i smile
Brushing my tears away...

I wish i could just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years i've cried over you

How much more can we use it up?
Drink it dry?
Take this drug?
Looking for something forever gone
But something
We will always want?

Why why why are you letting me go? she says
I feel you pulling back
I feel you changing shape...
And just as i'm breaking free
She hangs herself in front of me
Slips her dress like a flag to the floor
And hands in the sky
Surrenders it all...

I wish i could just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years i've cried for you
It's always the same
Wake up in the rain
Head in pain
Hung in shame
A different name
Same old game
Love in vain
And miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Away from home again...

---

Yesterday, I found out that you got married last month. 10 years ago, my friends all told me that with time, things would get easier. I'm still waiting. I guess the difference between us is that when I said forever, I meant it. "Hold me like this for a hundred thousand million days", indeed.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Je suis tellement fière d'être québecoise, mais je suis Canadienne avant tout.

No more elections for a few years, plz!!

Just got home from work. Damn, is it ever cold!! Just a few days ago, I was marveling at how mild it has been so far in December and I think I jinxed the province. -20C all day today, not even counting the wind chill.

On my way home from Chrysler on the bus I was listening to the radio on my Mp3 player as the election results were coming in. First off, since I didn't get the chance to vote today I suppose I'm not entitled to bitch about the results. However, it was way too cold to walk to the polling station before work which resulted in the lowest voter turnout in our provincial elections at something like 57%.

The Liberals got a slim majority with 66 seats,the Parti Quebecois did better than expected with 51 and the ADQ crumbled, winning only 7 seats (Mario Dumont resigned as head of the ADQ, which is pretty much the only good news).

So I'm sitting in the crowded 215 listening to the radio and Pauline Marois is giving her "victory speech" (congrats on losing the election??). The Parti Quebecois militants are chanting "ON VEUT UN PAYS!! ON VEUT UN PAYS!!" (WE WANT A COUNTRY!! WE WANT A COUNTRY!!) in the background and as soon as I hear this, my eyes well up with tears. I must of looked like a real idiot, on the verge of crying, but thankfully no one was paying attention. So to this she replies to the crowd: "On va l'avoir, c'est sure" (We will get it, for sure!). I am so sick of these fucking separatists... they may want their country, but why the hell do they deserve to tear mine apart in the process? This good showing by the PQ could very well rally the separatists who have been pretty quiet since losing the referendum in '95.

I love my country and I love my province. I love living in Montreal; there is nowhere else in the world that I would rather call home. But if the PQ starts rocking the boat and talking about separation and referendums again, I am out of here. I just can't take deal with this again. In 1995, we came within 1% of Quebec separating from Canada. I was 13 years old, and worried sick that I could wake up in a different country than the one I went to bed in.



Just watching this video brings back all the anxiety and emotion of that night.

Even more telling is the video from the cbc.ca archives of the broadcast that night: here Poor Peter Mansbridge sounds so deflated at the beginning of the segment when the Yes side was still ahead. It's so touching to hear the reactions of the crew and people behind the scenes - it goes to show just how emotional that night was for every single person in this country.

Now I'm not even all that politically-minded, but I was raised to be a proud Canadian. My mother sent me to a French elementary because she wanted me to learn French so that I would have every opportunity to work here. I am so thankful to her for having this foresight. I don't know anyone who is more bilingual than my mom, but she was raised in a French neighborhood. I grew up in the English part of town with almost exclusively English friends, but thanks to my six years at Charlemagne, I speak near perfect French. I hold as much resentment towards Anglophones who live here and make zero attempt to learn the language (some of my best friends included) as I do to the separatists who refuse to utter a word of English. In the long run, though, it's the pettiness and xenophobia of the separatist Quebecois that make them the bigger of two evils. It's all good and fine if you plan on spending the rest of your life in Abitibi-Temiscamingue or some backwoods town, but as soon as you set foot outside of the province you will come to realize that a knowledge of English is imperative if you plan on traveling or doing business outside of Quebec. I will grant that Quebec is a distinct society, but is it anymore than British-Columbia, or any of the Maritime provinces? (Ontario and the Prairies are pretty much all the same thing anyway! hahaha) I apologize for the ranting and raving, but this is something that, even in Montreal, affects usona day-to-day basis. English-French relations in this province can be tenuous, and there is so much history to consider. It is something that profoundly interests me, and should I ever decide to do a Master's degree, I would love to study it more in-depth, be it through Linguistics or Sociology or History or whatever. That, however, is VERY unlikely! haha.. I'm gona take my bachelor's degree and run!!!

So, all that said, I really hate provincial politics here. These sovereigntists always try to play the US against THEM game. They have made me feel that since my name is not Louise Tremblay or whatever, that I do not belong here, that I am not a Quebecer. We've had a 13-year reprieve , with no talk of seperation; politics here had begun to shift more towards left vs. right ideologies instead of Federalists vs. seperatists. Now, with Marois seemingly lighting a fire under the sovereigntists' butts, I am so scared that all this crap is going to boil over again. With the way the economy is going, and the state of wordly affairs in general, this PETTY DIVISIVENESS is the last thing we need. So, at the first whiff of the PQ gaining steam and any chance of another referendum, I'm packing my bags and saying goodbye to my home.

haha.. i just posted this in the video comment for the youtube video I posted above:

"ayoye.. en entendant le discourse de Marois a soir, avec le monde qui scande "On veut un pays!" ca m'a fait penser a 1995.

Honnetement, si jamais le Quebec obtient son independence, nous autres a Montreal, on va se separer du Quebec. Ca serait interessant, n'est-ce pas? Passer par les douanes chaque fois que vous venez en ville!! haha.. ca me fait rire. Comme si y'avais pas d'autres choses encore plus importants qu'un "Quebec libre".. l'economie en particulier."

(wow... listening to Marois' speech tonight, with people chanting "we want a country" made me think back to 1995. Honestly, if Quebec ever gets its independance, we here in Montreal wil seperate from Quebec. It would be interesting, don't you think? Having to clear customs every time you want to come to the city. haha.. it makes me laugh. As if there weren't more pressing issues at the moment than a "free Quebec", like the economy for instance...")

oh man, I am soooooo gonna get blasted by the separatists!! I'll be sure to post the most colorful remarks here.

Je suis tellement fière d'être québecoise, mais je suis Canadienne avant tout.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

the stillness of 5am

just had a smoke outside - it's so dead and barren at this hour. It's 5:30am and I'm not the slightest bit tired; there's nothing on TV, too late to commit to a movie, i'm not in a reading mood, already passed my gaming hours quota for the day and i'm not about to start studying at this hour. I'M BORED!!! times like these make me wish that there was someone here with me to occupy/entertain/distract me/other things (:D)...

For now, this will have to do:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam

I've been watching these puppies grow, play, sleep, twitch, sleep, play, etc.. for weeks. I'm not the biggest fan of dogs (cats are less smelly and have more personality) but these puppies are the absolute cutest!!

... I really do wish i had someone to talk to....

Monday, December 1, 2008

i dreamt that yesterday was really tomorrow

Watched Inland Empire for the second time last night. Still just as perplexed and Laura Dern's maniacal clown grin is just as traumatizing the second time round. David Lynch gets me every time; the genius of that man knows no bounds.

Just recorded an hour-long project for my sociolinguistics class at the Burgundy Lion with a few friends over a few pints. I'll prolly end up having to transcribe my input as [inaudible] due to having a few pints before eating anything. I can work around though. Despite that, I'm excited because I had a diverse group of people (Scottish, French Canadian and English Montrealer) which should provide some interesting data to explore. Way too tired to tackle that tonight, however, as I think bed is calling...

Last phonology class tomorrow. Final exam. By my calculations, even a 0/18% will yield a passing grade for the class. w00t. no pressure, but I want to avoid my GPA taking too big of a hit. We'll see...

There is currently a massive amount of sleet, sleeting down on the city right now. It made for an unpleasant walk home from the pub. Just a taste to come, though... I plan on becoming a hermit until March comes round!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

the light at the end of the tunnel

...and it's not a train!

haha


Only a handful of classes and a few projects and I'm done for the semester! Things turned around nicely for me, and I'm even sitting at a C+ in phonology (which is by no means satisfactory, but given the circumstances, I'll take it!). Looking forward to the few weeks of rest afforded by the Christmas break. Seen as how it looks like my father will be buying my sister and I crackbox 360s, I'm sure I'll find ways to fill my time constructively ;P

I plan on reading The World Without Us which i bought as a Christmas gift to myself (I justified it by saying it was to get free shipping for my mom's gifts on Amazon!). Can't wait to find out what will happen to all traces of human existence after our hypothetical extinction.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

laugh or cry?

we were playing a decent game tonight against the Isles; things looked as if they were getting back on track. 4 mins to go with a 3-2 lead and a delayed penalty call on New York. Price goes to the bench for the extra attacker and then this happened:



we went on to lose in the shoot out.

this is all so symbolic of our season so far....

Thursday, November 13, 2008

pathetic!!!!

after getting smoked last saturday by the Leafs 6-3, Boston dominates us in every facet of the game tonight which finished 6-1 Bruins. This match was over before it even began - absolutely fucking appalling! Komisarek finally dropped the gloves against Lucic and had his ass handed to him AND managed to get injured in the process!!! argh! Something's not quite right in the land of the Habs... Despite the season being only 14 games old and a 9-3-2 record, the effort and consistency that they displayed every game last season is visibly absent so far this year. /sigh.


meanwhile, i'm entering the tail end of my worst semester to date. Thankfully, there's only one more to go, provided I pass everything, which at this point isn't a guarantee. Not only did i miss an in-class essay for my Romance Languages class (15% off my grade right there), but when i go to write the second part the next class, I write my essay on the wrong question!!! So that's another 15% off my grade right there.

My first phonology test came back - 9/25. Wrote the second one on Monday and I'm fairly convinced that I did worse. I am SUCH AN IDIOT for picking the most random and useless subject ever for a minor.

Yes, I am feeling a tad bit edgy these days...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Hats off, America!

Nice to see this sort of monumental occurrence happen in my lifetime.


John Mccain is making his concession speech as I type. He is much more eloquent and believable in this sort of environment. What a weird crowd there at the hotel in Arizona though!! These are the backward people who will be cheering just as loud for Palin in 2012. Booing during the man who you campaigned for/support's speech is just classless and disrespectful.

You know what I think sealed the deal for Obama in PA?



ahahaha... it gets more cringe-worthy every time I see it!

Speaking of cringe-worthy, I'd like to think that we Quebecois may have even played a negligible part in disenfranchising Palin supporters - with the fine work of those 2 guys at CKOI who pranked her last week. Good timing on their part, I must say.

Is politics all about timing? Seems like everything is, anyways!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

happy halloween!!

Costume turned out well - lotsa ppl recognized who i was.

Party was fun, got to catch up with some old friends whom i hadn't seen in ages.

Left my wallet in the cab on the way to the party. what a supreme pain in the ass. I only had 25$ in there, but now I have to replace my bank and crdit cards, driver's license, university ID, medicare card... BLAHHHH... I've been on hold with Visa's lost card hotline for the last 30 mins. this really blows.

Had a good time anyway, but FUCK. this is such a me thing to do.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

sigh of relief

Week of hell at school is over with only moderate damage.

The new Cure album fucking rocks! I won't elaborate too much until I've given it another dozen or so listens.. :)

This track Scream is so great! The studio version kicks this version's ass as well.



Seriously, this is another one of those 'special tracks'. Within the opening bars I had experienced the gamut of pleasurable physical reactions to a song. ;) I love it!!! A definite touch of Forever/All I have to do is kill her/All Mine.

This has always been my favorite kind of Cure song, and that's why I love this new album so much. Screw the keyboards, give me more guitar!! haha. I put Scream up there with the likes of FTEOTDGS, The Kiss, in terms of massive buildup. This song is way to epic to clock in a 4 and a half mins!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

he's off the grid, man

so many weird dreams last night.

they're ripping up the street in front of my place...construction, how i loathe thee.

going to skip the second half of my sociolinguistics class tonight to make it to HMV before 9.

new cure album!!!! ahhhhh!!!! oh happy day!!!

...fuck, i'm tired.

4:13 Dream

The new Cure album is out today! WOOOOOOO! ;)

I'm so inundated with school work that I probably won't even get a chance to to listen to it right away, I have to wait for that special moment. hehe. Its a shame that they released 4 singles and played 3 other songs live on the last tour. It means that there are only 6 tracks on the album that I haven't heard yet. But hey, an event of this magnitude only comes round every 4 years or so... I'll be sure to detail exactly how I feel about the album once I've given it a few proper listens.

Jess is going to cut my hair and give me bangs on thursday and I managed to snag a skirt and ladies business jacket at Village des Valeurs for 20$. My costume is coming together nicely... mouhahaha..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

with my poisoned arms around you

it was five years ago today that Elliott Smith stabbed himself in the heart.


live from Olympia, WA


One of the most important songwriters of the 90's who never really got his due.

Heroin is such a scary drug. The only person that I ever knew who got hooked on it is dead (at 22 years old - such a tragedy). This review of Smith's show at North Eastern University is eerie:

Just Say Yes
By Jake Brown
May 3, 2002

Just Say Yes
Elliott Smith Live at the Riviera Theater
Thursday, April 2, 2002

"I love Elliott Smith, but man, he was a mess last night opening up for Wilco at an unannounced show in Chicago. It was really sad. He apparently slept funny on the plane and a couple of his fingers had fallen asleep and would not wake up. He told us this probably 75 times in the hour or so he was on stage. "Fuck! I keep concentrating on my fingers." He would start a song, play the first few bars, maybe sing one line or two, and then stop, apologize, and tell us he couldn't feel his fingers. "I keep concentrating on my fingers instead of the song, and I'm not going to play it if I'm not into the song." I think he played a total of three songs all the way through, no shit. He probably started 30. "Just let me try to think of a song I can play with only two fingers." If someone taped this, it's going to be one of those monumentally tragic recordings that show a great artist totally bottoming out.

I kept thinking how that must have been what it was like to see Bukowski do a reading, but without the meanness toward the audience. Just the messiness of someone who's fucked up.

I seriously hope he's okay and that he gets his shit together. But it would not surprise me at all if Elliott Smith ends up dead within a year."
----

So sad... he didn't even make it that long; he was dead 6 months later.


Still, I can't help but be reminded of that photospread from Vice magazine that Sharon had hanging in our bathroom and which still hangs there to this day:

10 Things to do With a Dead Rat

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i don't need your moral majority

John F. Kennedy

Address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association

delivered 12 September 1960 at the Rice Hotel in Houston, TX


"...I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute; where no Catholic prelate would tell the President -- should he be Catholic -- how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote; where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference, and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the President who might appoint him, or the people who might elect him.

I believe in an America that is officially neither Catholic, Protestant nor Jewish; where no public official either requests or accept instructions on public policy from the Pope, the National Council of Churches or any other ecclesiastical source; where no religious body seeks to impose its will directly or indirectly upon the general populace or the public acts of its officials, and where religious liberty is so indivisible that an act against one church is treated as an act against all.

For while this year it may be a Catholic against whom the finger of suspicion is pointed, in other years it has been -- and may someday be again -- a Jew, or a Quaker, or a Unitarian, or a Baptist. It was Virginia's harassment of Baptist preachers, for example, that led to Jefferson's statute of religious freedom. Today, I may be the victim, but tomorrow it may be you -- until the whole fabric of our harmonious society is ripped apart at a time of great national peril.

Finally, I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end, where all men and all churches are treated as equals, where every man has the same right to attend or not to attend the church of his choice, where there is no Catholic vote, no anti-Catholic vote, no bloc voting of any kind, and where Catholics, Protestants, and Jews, at both the lay and the pastoral levels, will refrain from those attitudes of disdain and division which have so often marred their works in the past, and promote instead the American ideal of brotherhood.

That is the kind of America in which I believe. And it represents the kind of Presidency in which I believe, a great office that must be neither humbled by making it the instrument of any religious group nor tarnished by arbitrarily withholding it -- its occupancy from the members of any one religious group. I believe in a President whose views on religion are his own private affair, neither imposed upon him by the nation, nor imposed by the nation upon him as a condition to holding that office..."

untitled

like a feeling that i'm down
deep inside my heart
like i'm looking out through
splitting blood red
windows in my heart
from a higher up than heaven
and a harder down than stone
shake the fear that always clawing
pulls me clawing down alone
as i spitting splitting blood red
breaking windows in my heart
and the past is taunting
fear of ghosts
is forcing me apart
and the further i get
from the things that i care about
the less i care about
how much further away i get...

Fear of Ghosts - the Cure


nights like these make me feel as though i'll never sleep again.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

right back where we started

Conservative minority - a few more seats for the Conservatives than last time.

I think that this could actually be good for the country; Dion's bound to get sacked as Liberal leader and we can only hope that he's replaced by someone who can actually communicate in both official languages. Someone like....

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too bad he's such a douche. I loved his father, but there's no way that a majority of Quebec will ever vote for a Trudeau. It's a shame.

The Bloc dude won my riding, which is also a shame - but the cool thing is that Thomas Mulcair won a seat in Montreal, just edging his Liberal opponent in the Outremont riding. It's the first time in history that an NDP candidate wins a seat in Quebec in a feral election.

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That little wedge of orange is one of the few bright spots of this election for me. Ah well, at least montreal is still a comforting majority of red among the sea of blue that is quebec.

and here's the bigger picture:

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Yay Turkey Day!

Thanksgiving is always nice. This was the first family dinner we've had at my mom and Paul's house since they moved to the country. I keep telling them that they're practically living in Ontario, but it was a really nice drive out there and getting to see all the yellow and red leaves was a bonus. I've decided to go up north for a hiking day trip before it gets too cold - just have to put some new tunes on my MP3 player and i'm set.

I had a few rye and gingers before dinner and during the turkey dinner wound up giving my mom a hard time because she said that "she liked" Sarah Palin. I couldn't believe it. I proceeded to launch a tirade outlining all the reasons why she is an evil lady. Despite that, a good time was had by all - well, maybe not the turkey.


You know that feeling that you get when you hear a really, really good song for the first time? It doesn't happen that often for me, but when it does I relish the moment completely. This song is something very special to me - it really showcases my favorite guitar and drumming styles fused together. I've come to expect nothing but quality from all the Factory Records bands, and I had heard the Durutti Column before from 24 Hr Party People but i was sure that it was just the guitarist Vinni Reilly. This song came outta nowhere and absolutely FLOORED me. Anyway, here is one of the greatest songs ever written, imo, that was recorded 27 years ago and which I discovered today, the 13th of October, 2008.



Anyone wanna guess what the drummer was on? I'd say LSD or Ecstasy! haha...

When they switch to four on the floor around the 6 mins mark...that just does indescribable things to my body. Yes, I'll admit it - I'm turned on by a 4/4 time signature. sooo goood.

Oh man, I know what I'm doing tomorrow - I'm tuning up the Les Paul and breaking out my digi delay pedal and I am gonna learn this song if it takes me all day. It's gonna be so, so sweet. Life is all about the simple pleasures.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

"Ever Wonder what people are talking about across the room"?

hahaha..wow.

I just saw this commercial on TV for a product called Listen In, its this little sound amplifier. Another perfect example of a useless commodity and waste of plastic, but the commercial is golden!! If you go to the address here the little infomercial will pop up. It provided me with any a chuckle.

Friday, October 10, 2008

moving on...

My three-year relationship is over. Technically, it's been over for almost a year, but we've finally made things official. I should probably be sad, but i can't seem to feel anything at all. Actually, thats not true - i feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It's not as if I'm dying to put myself back on the market or anything, but it's a really liberating feeling knowing that should any opportunity present itself I don't have any reason hold back. I've been trying to put an end to this for months, but I'm a real pussy (please forgive the vulgarity :P) about these sorts of things.

Anyway, just got back from work - very pleased to have not found out the score of the hockey game, seeing as I recorded it. It's never fun watching a hockey game when you know what the outcome will be. So, time to settle back, crack open a bottle of Kronenburg and watch the first match of the Canadiens' centennial season.

I'm such a horrible person to be this happy about being broken up with! hahaha

oh well! :D

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Round 2

watching the second US presidential candidates' debate... if McCain says 'my friends' one more time, I'm changing the channel! As much as i like Brokaw, I would have loved to see Gwen moderate this one!

It's fun to actually be able to watch evening TV - i guess semi-unemployment has its perks! Seriously though, I need a job; I've been watching far too many leftist documentaries/propaganda and I'm starting to get very angry with the status quo. Alas, I don't have the moral fiber to be a revolutionary.

There's a great site out that calculates the most strategic anti-harper's conservatives vote by your electoral riding: http://www.voterpourlenvironnement.org/

The area I just moved to has an incumbent from the Bloc Quebecois (having a separatist party in federal politics HAS to be the most ridiculous thing ever!) with the Liberal guy having placed a close second. Basically, it means there's no conservative threat in Jeanne-le-ber (ugliest riding name ever... i miss Ville-Marie! haha) so i'm free to vote with my heart. Now all i have to do is decide whether i want to support the New Democrats or the Green Party. Elizabeth May did do the best in the English debate and the green's will get 75c for every vote they get to contribute towards their next platform, so i'm leaning in that direction.


New Cure album in exactly 3 weeks from today!!! WEEEEEE!!

I'm beginning to prep my Sarah Palin costume - anyone have a rifle to spare for one evening? Ammo isn't strictly necessary! ;) Also looking for a ladies' business suit jacket.


I think i've finally committed the Phonetic Alphabet chart to memory.
What do i win?

feel my pain

Sunday, October 5, 2008

"There is a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women"

Palin cites a quote from Madeleine Albright that she saw on her 'Starbucks Mocha Cup' *insert clapping and faint cheering here* why are you cheering at the mere mention of starbuck's?? Pathetic. speaking of, here's the clip from her speech:





She's really giving Ann Coulter some competition for my most hated harpy.

completely spent

Went to the weird punk show last night. Neptune canceled at the last minute, citing 'incurable van problems'. I was really disappointed as they were the main reason i had bought tickets. the deathset were fun and boisterous, shearing pinx weren't bad and AIDS Wolf (getting Laids Wolf, as they called themselves last night due to a guitarist being out with food poisoning) were, well... i left 20 mins into their set while the singer was on the floor in the crowd in fetal position with the mic in her mouth.
All in all, I got my 10 bucks worth and had some good company.


Decided to meet up with Sharon at Vinyl afterwards and she force-fed me mdma. Okay, well, it was more like: 'Open your mouth and swallow this', so obviously i did. things get a little fuzzy after that, but i do remember cabbing it to my place after we realized she had no booze in her apartment - the cabbie was blaring salsa music - like a few hundred decibels over comfortable blaring. Kicked her out shortly before 7am after hours of pointless blethering. I am completely destroyed. This is gonna be a crazy busy week at school, the job hunt continues (tower.com haven't called back - bastards!... i just wanna climb in to bed and sleep till it warm outside again.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The writing was on the wall 6 years ago

what happens when "a low-income home buyer can have just as nice a house as anybody else"?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Coming soon to an American street near you... soldiers!

want a good laugh?

http://www.redtractor-usa.com/Microsoft_McDonalds.htm


Microsoft Announces Merger With McDonald’s, Christianity

In what is being hailed as the end of the free world, Microsoft, McDonald’s, and Christianity have joined forces to form a single $300 billion/1.9 billion adherent corporate-religious entity known as McRosoftianity. The resulting mega-church/corporation is projected to manage virtually every aspect of the global economy and culture in just a few short months.

“We are absolutely thrilled because together we can control the world in ways that any one of us could have only dreamed of,” said Bill Gates, now high chairman-priest of McRosoftianity. “Our goal is to bring people together by making McRosoftianity the world’s sole provider of food, technology, and spirituality.”

McRosoftianity’s flagship product, McBible XP, is already available for download, and will hit stores worldwide next Sunday after morning services. McBible XP is an all-encompassing product featuring enhanced virus protection, Word of God processing, and a large order of fries or hash browns. It will not be compatible with other religions, non-McRosoftianity foodstuffs, or computer programs engineered before the Fall of Man.

The end-user license agreement for McBible XP requires all users to accept Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.

Concerns that the mere concept of McRosoftianity would violate antitrust law were dismissed when the deal was quickly approved by the FTC and Vatican under threat of divine blackmail. The merger, which was formally completed last Monday, has now officially existed since the creation of the Universe according to McChurch doctrine.

The details of the merger were hammered out in a series of overnight meetings between Bill Gates, Jesus, and Ronald McDonald. The meetings took place at Microsoft headquarters, the ninth sphere of Heaven, and Ronald McDonald’s private McDonaldland ranch. Mr. McDonald’s direct participation in these negotiations confirmed longstanding rumors that he was indeed the hamburger-happy mogul in charge of the fast-food giant.

“Jesus and Bill are shrewd negotiators, but I am no fool,” said McDonald with slicked back hair in a red and yellow business suit. “Their willingness to employ strong-arm tactics and deception makes them the perfect allies.”

Added McDonald, “I’m lovin’ it.”

In accordance with the terms of the merger, McDonaldland has become the home to the Church of Latter-Day Hamburgers, a religious institution that has the sole purpose of converting Evangelical Christians and Jehovah’s Witnesses to McRosoftianity. There are already reports of pairs of bicyclists wearing Happy-Meal-shaped helmets going house to house, preaching the advantages of homogenized living by subjecting the residents to assembly-line style worship services via Holy-Visual Chat.

“The new Trinity shall consist of Ronald McDonald, me, and Clippit, that little paperclip that used to pop up in Word documents to tell you that it looks like you’re writing a business letter,” preached Jesus to a group of unwilling converts. “You all used to laugh at Clippit, but now he is a divine aspect of your Almighty God.”

In a bold strategy to stamp out heresy before it starts, McRosoftianity has offered to provide catering and techno-spiritual support to any group of people interested in making a genuine attempt at public protest, an offer which some anti-McRosoftianity groups view as disingenuous and belittling. Nevertheless, some organizations have taken them up on the offer.

“With the help of McRosoftianity, our protest against globalization and the evils of McRosoftianity will be so much more effective!” said Ian Elwood, Corporate Wiki Project Manager at corpwatch.org. “Their convenient divine-thru messaging service gives us all the tools we need to organize a global protest against the very system that made it so easy for us all to connect to each other in the first place.”

“The key to putting an end to any corporation is as simple as unilaterally refusing to endorse their products,” continued Elwood, moving his Micro-soft drink cup from his desktop to the recycle bin. “Really, it’s just a question of how determined you really are.”

McRosoftianity is of the opinion that convincing their critics just how easy life would be under their forced mode of living is one of the fundamental steps to achieving global conquest, should they ever choose to formally pursue it.

“We will manage every aspect of your lives using child-safe software-toys distributed in the Happy Meals and Glory Communions you require for sustenance,” said Gates. “After Jesus cleanses your soul of sin and spyware, the appropriate tithe will be collected by an online cashier-priest-bot at which point your order will become immediately available for download.”

“To assure quality, your food will be compiled by only the fastest processors, and any misinterpretations of your order will be addressed by our patented Stained Glass Windows Updater as the Crucial-Fixes become available,” continued Gates. “Version 3:16 should be very stable, but if problems persist, simply offer a McPrayer to the Lord and MS Paint some RAM’s blood over your doorpost.”

Though these services are touted proudly, many consumers find the most compelling reason to give their soul-dollars to McRosoftianity is the promise of Heaven, a product taken directly from Christianity’s original production line. Furthermore, Jesus has made it clear that those who do not use McBible XP will suffer greatly in this life, and eternally in the next.

“I’m sold!” said a hapless and brainwashed consumer. “When the alternative is Hell teeming with malware daemons and boiling lakes of trans-fatty fryer oil, I’ll buy anything they tell me to! Thanks to McRosoftianity, I know that when the Blue Screen of Death comes for me I’ll be making my way through Heaven’s Golden Arches.”

In order to fight McRosoftianity on its own terms, Apple, Google, and In-N-Out burger have tentatively agreed to put aside their differences and have started negotiations regarding a merger of their own. After several failed attempts at naming the new entity, ranging from “Apple-N-Google” to “Appoogle-N-Out,” the proposed merger has settled on the name “Coalition Of Doing No Evil.”

When asked how the Coalition Of Doing No Evil planned to compete with McRosoftianity in the area of religion, Apple CEO Steve Jobs replied, “You obviously don’t know too much about In-N-Out.”

Yahoo! co-founder Jerry Yang was not invited to any negotiations. He has not received a phone call in several weeks and was last seen crying in a bathroom stall at the New York Stock Exchange.

McRosoftianity has announced that it does not view the proposed Coalition Of Doing No Evil, or any other corporation, religion, armed force, or government, as a significant threat to its mission.

“We will embrace humanity, we will extend humanity, but if anyone tries to get in our way, we will extinguish humanity,” said Ronald McDonald, his trademark smile turned into a frightening scowl. “I wouldn’t cross us if I were you, because frankly, you don’t have a McShot in Hell.”

By Michael Wakcher

Monday, September 22, 2008

living with letting go

After an epic 5 hour journey through my favorite 90's music videos on youtube (when i should be writing my sociolinguistics paper..hehe), I was compelled to reflect on a decade of music that is very near and dear to my heart. As much of a sucker for the 80's as I am, I really only started listening to music and going to shows compulsively in the 90's. These days, indie music satiates all my needs, but as a teenager I got to experience the explosion of grunge and 'alternative rock'. It's hard to put a finger right on it, and pinpoint exactly when it happened, but music has changed over the course of the last 8 years. Not to say for better or for worse, but just different. So, with that said, here I present to you a little bit of nostalgia; my five favorite albums of the 90's.

#5 - Perfect From Now On - Built to Spill



Best Tracks: I Would Hurt a Fly, Unstrustable pt 2, Carry the Zero

A highly, highly, influencial album whose echoes can be heard in so much of the indie rock coming out these days. The highlights of the album for me are all those surprise endings and changes of time signatures and keys. Obviously a big influence on Arcade Fire's Funeral, which is probably my favorite album of the 00's, so bonus points for that.

Best Lyric: "and God is whoever you're performing for.."


#4 - Aenima - Tool


Best Tracks: Stinkfist, 46&2, Jimmy

I must admit, it's awful tough to choose between this and Undertow. In the end though, Tool really take their music to another level on this album. With hints of the sprawling, progressive direction they would take on Lateralus, and the more straightforward aggression of their first two albums, Aenima really provides the best of both Tool worlds. The short interludes between the tracks gel the album and give it a real sense of flow (best showcased in the intermission / Jimmy transition). Bonus points for the cool holographic packaging and for naming a song Hooker With a Penis

Best lyric: "Cuz I'm praying for rain / And I'm praying for tidal waves / I wanna see the ground give way / I wanna watch it all go down"


#3 Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary


Best tracks: Seven, In Circles, 47

Some may say that this album pioneered the 'emo' sound; to which i reply: "Bullshit!". See, the difference between SDRE and today's emo and screamo bands can be summed up in one word: talent. Diary features some of the best drumming and vocals that i have ever heard, period. Not to mention one of the best opening tracks ever in Seven (we're talking The Cure opening track quality here! haha). Some people may find Jeremy's voice grating, but his delivery is what lends the vocals their appeal. Unfortunately for the band, they were never able to match the quality of this album on any of their subsequent releases. Well...Pillars was an awesome song...

Best lyric: "in the shadows i climbed mountains for chairs / don't look down"


#2 - The Pixies - Doolittle



Best Tracks: Gouge Away, Hey, Crackity Jones, Mr Grieves, Dead, Here Comes Your Man, you get the picture... ;)

This one was really tough - how could one possibly attempt to elevate the perfection that is Doolittle above, say, Bossanova or Trompe Le Monde? well, i've done just that. deal with it.
There's a reason that Kurt Cobain was heavily influenced by this album - it's just one dementedly perfect track after another. The Mr. Grieves/Crackity Jones combo has always been a favorite of mine. And it even managed to produce two of their biggest mainstream hits: Monkey Gone to Heaven and Here Comes Your Man.

Best Lyric: "must be a devil between us /or whores in my head / whores at my door /whores in my bed"


#1 - Garbage - Garbage




Best tracks: Supervixen, As Heaven is Wide, Vow, Fix me Now


this one was really just a personal choice for me. I have lots of memories bound up with the '95-'98 period, and Garbage was the soundtrack to that period. Shirley Manson was one of the first female rockstars who really gave me the urge to pick up a guitar a rock out. From the amazingly good opener Supervixen to the moody downtempo closer Milk, this album is just pure solid, through and through. I could listen to it on repeat forever without skipping a single track. Butch Vig did an incredible job producing it, and Shirley's vocals can sound both powerful and vulnerable at the same time. I'd imagine some people would scoff at the selection of this album as best of the 90's (what about Ok Computer?? screw Thom Yorke and his lazy eye, I've always said!) but its my list and i can do what i want! hahaha

Best Lyric: "
A hit is hard to resist and I never miss / I can take you out with just a flick of my wrist"


(honnerable mentions: Elliot Smith - XO, Juliana Hatfield - Only Everything, The Tea Party - Transmission)






Keith Olbermann's Special Comment on the 7th anniversary of 9/11

Once again, my hat is off to Mr. Olbermann. I can only hope that those to whom his pointed indictments are directed will not silence one of the few voices of reason in the American mainstream media.


the ducks are after us



...and the seagulls too, apparently

Sunday, September 21, 2008

We are all slowly rotting from the inside out

if you have an hour to spare, please follow the link to learn more about one of the evilest corporations out there (and they have lots of competition):

The World According to Monsanto

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sarah Palin's Dead Lake

If she can do this to a town, what will she do to a country? I loathe to even speculate. Besides, who needs landscape or natural habitat when you can lovingly gaze unto the giant concrete behemoths?

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/09/19/palin/index.html


Sarah Palin's dead lake


Sept. 19, 2008 | WASILLA, Alaska -- Every morning she's at home here, Sarah Palin wakes up to a postcard view from her lakeside home. Out the windows of her two-story wood-framed house stretch the serene, birch-lined waters of Lake Lucille. Ducks go gliding by the red-and-white Piper Cub floatplane docked outside. With the snow-frosted Chugach and Talkeetna mountains looming in the distance, the scene seems to define the Alaska that Palin celebrates: rugged, majestic, unspoiled.

And, yet, the lake Sarah Palin lives on is dead.

"Lake Lucille is basically a dead lake -- it can't support a fish population," said Michelle Church, a Mat-Su Valley borough assembly member and environmentalist. "It's a runway for floatplanes." Palin recently told the New Yorker magazine that Alaskans "have such a love, a respect for our environment, for our lands, for our wildlife, for our clean water and our clean air. We know what we've got up here and we want to protect that, so we're gonna make sure that our developments up here do not adversely affect that environment at all. I don't want development if there's going to be that threat to harming our environment."

But as mayor of her hometown, say many local critics, Palin showed no such stewardship.

"Sarah's legacy as mayor was big-box stores and runaway growth," said Patty Stoll, a retired Wasilla schoolteacher who once worked in the same school with Palin's parents, Chuck and Sally Heath. "The truth is, Wasilla is just plain ugly, it's not a pleasant place to live. It's not thought out. And that's a shame.

"Sarah fouled her own nest, and I can't understand why. I hate to think it was simply greed or ambition."

Among the environmental casualties of Wasilla's frenzied development was Palin's own front yard, Lake Lucille. The lake was listed as "impaired" in 1994 by the Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation, and it still carries that grim label. State environmental officials say that leaching sewer lines and fertilizer runoff caused an explosion of plant growth in the lake, which sucked the oxygen out of the water and led to periodic fish kills.

"Sarah," a recent biography of Palin by Kaylene Johnson, features a photo of a beaming Palin, sitting in a rowboat on Lake Lucille clutching a fishing rod. But, according to local fishermen, the Republican vice-presidential candidate would have to be very lucky to reel in something edible.

The Alaska Fish and Game Department dutifully stocks the lake with coho salmon and rainbow trout each year -- but the fish don't last long.

Fishing on the lake "was tough," reported Alaska fishing guide Carlyle Telford on his Web site when he tried his luck on Lake Lucille last year, "because the vegetation is decaying and floating. When you retrieve every cast, the fly comes back with crud on it."

In a recent phone conversation, Telford said he hasn't returned to Lake Lucille since then. "I think the lake's pretty dead," he said. "That's why I haven't been back."

Wasilla, where Palin grew up and still resides, sprawls between two lakes -- Lucille and Wasilla Lake. Cottonwood Creek, which flows in and out of Wasilla Lake, has also been labeled "impaired" by state environmental officials, after foam was detected on the water surface and subsequent testing found excessive concentrations of fecal coliform bacteria.

The two lakes are the town jewels, the only eye relief along a harrowing corridor of strip malls, big-box stores and fast-food drive-throughs that is Wasilla. "Lord, help me get through Wasilla," reads one Alaska bumper sticker.

The population in Mat-Su Valley began booming in the 1970s with the Alaska oil pipeline and the influx of oil workers from Texas and Oklahoma. But while some valley towns tried to control growth -- like nearby Palmer, which was originally settled by Midwest farmers as part of a Roosevelt social experiment in the 1930s -- Wasilla took a frontier, boom-town approach. Soon the Parks Highway, which cuts straight through Wasilla, and its arteries were lined with a chaotic bazaar of quickie espresso shacks, moose-stuffing taxidermists, Bible churches, gun stores, tattoo and piercing parlors, mattress barns and the inevitable box stores with their football-field parking lots.

John Stein, Palin's predecessor as Wasilla mayor, tried gamely to get a handle on the commercial free-for-all. He made an effort to restore the health of Lake Lucille, which, he said, "was turning into a bog."

"We brought up a scientist to study both lakes," Stein recalled. "We also worked with the state to filter storm drainage from the highway."

Controlling runoff from the six-lane highway is a key to saving the lakes in Wasilla. Other cities have their industrial pollution problems; Wasilla has highway pollution. "Anything that comes off an automobile -- oil, antifreeze, de-icing agents, heavy metals -- all of that can run off into the lakes when it rains," observed Archie Giddings, Wasilla's public works director.

But while Mayor Stein tried to impose some reason on Wasilla's helter-skelter development, and its growing pressures on Mat-Su Valley's environmental treasures, when Sarah Palin took his place, she quickly announced, "Wasilla is open for business."

"That's for sure," Church said. "Sarah was so eager for big-box stores to move in that she allowed Fred Meyer to build right on Wasilla Lake, and her handpicked successor, Dianne Keller, has done the same with Target."

Under Mayor Palin's reign, Fred Meyer, an emporium that sells everything from groceries to gold watches to gardening tools, lost no time in leveling a stand of trees overlooking the lake for its big-box store. When Fred Meyer applied for permission to pump the storm drainage from its parking lot -- with all the usual automobile sludge -- into the lake, outraged citizens finally cried enough.

"We mobilized public opposition," said Church, who led the Friends of Mat-Su, a pro-planning group, at the time. "We forced them to put in ditches and grassy swales to catch the runoff.

"Sarah was such a great cheerleader for Wasilla, but she did nothing to protect its beauty. She'd go to these Chamber of Commerce meetings and say, 'Wasilla is the most beautiful place in the world!' And we'd just sit there gagging."

A city official in nearby Palmer, who has lived in the Mat-Su Valley his whole life, sadly admitted: "Sarah sent the growth into overdrive. And now they're choking on traffic and sprawl, all built on their ignorance and greed.

"I try to avoid driving to Wasilla so I won't get depressed," added the official, who asked for his name to be withheld, to avoid Palin's "wrath."

"You get visually mugged when you drive through there. I take the long way, through the back roads, just to avoid it."

Wasilla City Council member Dianne Woodruff hears the same lament about her town all the time. "Everywhere in Alaska, you hear people say, 'We don't want to be another Wasilla.' We're not just the state's meth capital, we're the ugly box-store capital. Was Sarah a good steward of this beautiful valley? No. I think it comes from her lack of experience and awareness of other places, how other cities try to preserve what makes them attractive and livable.

"The frontier mentality has prevailed for so long in Mat-Su Valley -- the feeling that 'you're not going to tell me what to do with my land,'" added Woodruff. "That's fine as long as you have endless open space. But when you start to fill in as a city, you can end up with a sprawling mess. With million-dollar homes next to gravel pits -- and dead lakes."

In recent years, after Palin's departure from City Hall, Wasilla has been "changing and learning," according to Woodruff. The city has taken steps to control toxic runoff into its two lakes.

But Wasilla still doesn't test the lakes' water quality -- that's left up to volunteer groups, which periodically take samples from the lakes, according to city officials.

Why is there no official effort to test the local waters?

"That's a good question," said Wasilla public works chief Giddings, after a long, thoughtful pause. "I guess we're still ahead of the curve. We haven't seen huge concerns about the lakes yet."

Giddings acknowledged that there has been some public concern about swimming in the lakes, but not enough to prompt the city to monitor the water quality. If the public did start complaining about skin rashes, diarrhea and other health problems, "the state would probably step in," he added.

Would Giddings let his own children swim in Wasilla's lakes? "Yes," he said.

But Laura Eldred, an environmental program specialist with the Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation, offered a more qualified response. She would swim in the local lakes, but would "take the usual hygiene precautions," without specifying what those measures were.

"Sarah did nothing to protect our lakes; in fact, she obstructed efforts to improve our water quality," said city watchdog Anne Kilkenny. The property surrounding Wasilla's two lakes is privately owned, complicating the city's efforts to protect these natural treasures. While her predecessor, Mayor Stein, moved to incorporate the homes surrounding the two lakes -- like the Palin family residence -- so the city could control runoff from the dwellings, Palin campaigned for "no more annexation."

"Sarah hasn't traveled outside of Alaska much," said Kilkenny. "She hasn't seen dead lakes and rivers."

Now Palin can see one right out her window.

and God is whoever you're performing for



So the film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's novel Choke is coming out, looks better than I thought it would be, though Victor Mancini looked nothing like that in my head. Diane from Trainspotting appears to be playing Dr Paige Marshall, which can;t be anything but good, though her fake American accent sounds all kinds of wrong. It'd be nice if she could just speak with her Scottish accent, then again, I could listen to a Scottish person read the telephone book and be completely enthralled. It'll be fun to see just how faithful to the novel some of the film's sex scenes will be, as i remember some fairly explicit stuff which may or may not involve anal beads- guess we'll have to wait and see.

According to my chinese Zodiac year, my ideal professions are:

Dogs ideal jobs: politician, scientist, actor/actress, teacher, writer, movie director, secret agent, pub landlord/landlady.


Currently reading Crime by Irvine Welsh; it centers around Ray Lennox from Filth, which by chance i happened to re-read for the third time over the summer (wailed like a baby at the end for the third time too!). So far so good - its the first time Welsh immerses his characters in America as opposed to Edinborough. His descriptions of Miami so far are completely bang on!

It took me 4 hours to fall asleep last night - though i managed to get a few hours in before getting called in to work. Not that i'm complaining - they're shutting the Montreal PDC down Nov. 30th,. But more on that when i'm less tired. and angry.

Friday, September 19, 2008

i used to have a website

i spent the better part of the last hour searching the dark recesses of my mind in a vain attempt to remember the URL for my first website, circa 2002. i had hoped to find it through archive.org, but alas, i can't remember the address for the life of me. then again, my ego is probably better served by not finding it.

starting a blog in late 2008 - i suppose i missed the boat on this front. i need a camera. i need a job. i need a lot of things. stay tuned for more?

Pop Montreal approaches a grands pas, too many shows, too little time and money. Same story every beginning of October - i'm used to it now. Running concurrently with pop Montreal is the wierd punk fest at le divan orange. Got my ticket for the Sat Oct 4th show, cause Neptune is playing. They seem like a fun live act, and they make their own guitars and pedals. Sounds good to me.



The headliner for the show wasn't announced when i bought my ticket, but it turns out it's Aids Wolf. I have a feeling they may be too noisy for me, though, they can't be as bad as White Swan, who i believe caused my ears to bleed and may have left some form of brain damage.