STUPID!

stupid!

Shake the Disease

things aren't getting much better... my body seems to be rebelling after all these years. Can't say that I blame it...


You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes ahold of my tongue
In situations like these...

bite my lip and count to three...

I remember listening to this in my bedroom fifteen years ago. My second year of high school, which ended up being the most... 'formative' of life. It's fucking scary that fifteen years feel like yesterday.



p.s.: Wild Mood Swings is a great fucking album and don't let any jaded Cure fans tell you otherwise. It's what got me into The Cure way back in '96.

Sure, this isn't their best song by a mile, but who else writes lines like this?


All the tears you cry
They're not tears for me
Regrets about your life
They're not regrets for me
It never turns out how you want
Why can't you see?
It all just slips away
It always slips away...
eventually

...but there are long, long nights when I lay awake
and I think of what I've done
and how I've thrown my sweetest dreams away
and what I've really become
and however hard I try
I will always feel regret
However hard I try
I will never forget

probably one of the most bleak Cure songs ever. This coming from 20+ years of bleak material. and happy material. and everything in between. and that's what makes The Cure so special.

Adventures in English-teaching

Since obtaining my English-teaching certificate almost a year ago, I have been gaining lots of experience teaching at a language school here in the city and teaching business English over the phone to Europeans and Russians.

It's been a real learning experience for me, both teaching-wise and grammar wise. So far, the funniest moment I have had was explaining to a French-speaker what the difference between 'consuming' and 'consummation' is.

Earlier tonight I was speaking to a young Russian woman who was telling me about her dream vacation in Amsterdam. Only it came out: "My next vacation, I will trip to Amsterdam."

I really had to contain the laughter. I mean, how awesome is that?! hahaha

To wish impossible things

No more dreams of traveling. No more dreams of following The Cure around for their last tour. A decade of hard work rendered absolutely fucking meaningless in one 30 second phone call. Financial security, benefits, insurance, pension, all gone. I always knew life wasn't fair, but had faith that eventually things would even out a bit for me. even just slightly. I don't believe that anymore.

Cue painfully appropriate Cure song....

Polytechnique

It's been 22 years to the day since the Politechnique Massacre. I vaguely recall hearing about it on the news, but I was only seven. I remember that my mom was really upset. I knew that the killer was 'anti feminism' but only just realised how fucked up he was was (taken from the École Polytechnique massacre Wikipedia page):

Lépine then separated the nine women from the approximately fifty men and ordered the men to leave.[9] Speaking in French, he asked the remaining women whether they knew why they were there, and when one student replied "no," he answered: "I am fighting feminism". One of the students, Nathalie Provost, said, "Look, we are just women studying engineering, not necessarily feminists ready to march on the streets to shout we are against men, just students intent on leading a normal life." Lépine responded that "You're women, you're going to be engineers. You're all a bunch of feminists. I hate feminists." He then opened fire on the students from left to right, killing six, and wounding three others, including Provost.[1][3] Before leaving the room, he wrote the word shit twice on a student project.[9]

wasting a few hours on bash.org...

...laughing my ass off when, suddenly, I stumble on THIS