See you on a dark night

Life sure can be funny sometimes. Highest highs and lowest lows. It gets hard to take sometimes. I need to get my next Cure tattoo soon; use all this elation and sorrow and frustration for something indelible.

In other news, Montreal-based artist Grimes wrote a song that really resonated with me. It's already my go-to 4am stumbling home drunk soundtrack. Nothing better than belting this out while trudging through the dark, empty Pointe-St-Charles streets.



Another walkabout
After dark
It's my point of view
That someone could break your neck
Coming up behind you always coming and you never have a clue
And now I look behind all the time
I will wait forever
Always looking straight
Thinking counting all the hours you wait

See you on a dark night

And now another play I would act
If you could help me out
It's hard to understand
Because when you're running by yourself
It's hard to find someone to hold your hand

And now the empathy empowers me
But I will wait forever
I need someone now
To look into my eyes and tell me
Girl you know you've got to watch your health

See you on a dark night

Probably the most beautiful love song ever...

The Cure - 2 Late (WIP Mix) - YouTube

so i'll wait for you
where i always wait
behind the signs that sell the news
i'll watch for you like yesterday
and hope for you
one day that once
spent out on me
and up 'til late
i search for you
your hat pushed straight
away from me
your measured step
heads up you win
always too late

oh if i could just once catch your eye
invisible against the words
that hold you down in solitude
and never let you go
the way that every time
my eyes just close
like lids of wooden men in file
i put you under rainy day
your hat's all off
and i'm gone away...

so i'll wait for you
where i always wait
behind the signs that sell the news
and i'll watch for you like yesterday
and hope for you
one day that once
spent out on me
and up 'til late
i search for you
your hat pushed straight
away from me
your measured step
heads up you win
always too late

STUPID!

stupid!

Shake the Disease

things aren't getting much better... my body seems to be rebelling after all these years. Can't say that I blame it...


You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes ahold of my tongue
In situations like these...

bite my lip and count to three...

I remember listening to this in my bedroom fifteen years ago. My second year of high school, which ended up being the most... 'formative' of life. It's fucking scary that fifteen years feel like yesterday.



p.s.: Wild Mood Swings is a great fucking album and don't let any jaded Cure fans tell you otherwise. It's what got me into The Cure way back in '96.

Sure, this isn't their best song by a mile, but who else writes lines like this?


All the tears you cry
They're not tears for me
Regrets about your life
They're not regrets for me
It never turns out how you want
Why can't you see?
It all just slips away
It always slips away...
eventually

...but there are long, long nights when I lay awake
and I think of what I've done
and how I've thrown my sweetest dreams away
and what I've really become
and however hard I try
I will always feel regret
However hard I try
I will never forget

probably one of the most bleak Cure songs ever. This coming from 20+ years of bleak material. and happy material. and everything in between. and that's what makes The Cure so special.

Adventures in English-teaching

Since obtaining my English-teaching certificate almost a year ago, I have been gaining lots of experience teaching at a language school here in the city and teaching business English over the phone to Europeans and Russians.

It's been a real learning experience for me, both teaching-wise and grammar wise. So far, the funniest moment I have had was explaining to a French-speaker what the difference between 'consuming' and 'consummation' is.

Earlier tonight I was speaking to a young Russian woman who was telling me about her dream vacation in Amsterdam. Only it came out: "My next vacation, I will trip to Amsterdam."

I really had to contain the laughter. I mean, how awesome is that?! hahaha

To wish impossible things

No more dreams of traveling. No more dreams of following The Cure around for their last tour. A decade of hard work rendered absolutely fucking meaningless in one 30 second phone call. Financial security, benefits, insurance, pension, all gone. I always knew life wasn't fair, but had faith that eventually things would even out a bit for me. even just slightly. I don't believe that anymore.

Cue painfully appropriate Cure song....